Thursday, April 17, 2014

Dave Miller

Sling shot your career!

You have been flagged as a good match!
We are looking for someone who knows everything
About front-end
to dedicate his or her whole life
To the noble cause of front end and jquery
For 35k per year
depending on experience

Let me go home please to see my family!
These creepy controlling bastards keep me locked up in their weird controlled fake world
What a nightmare I'm going through
like prison

Can't sleep, deep sweats
let me go home please to see my family!
my children
children? don't you prefer jquery?

Its so nice being here
we are nice people
switched on developers
we care for you and your family of course
we are cool - but firm
we play pool and listen to music while we code
and many of us grow beards now
- but the work must get done.

we are modern
we work smart
with all the latest tech
we stay late so why not you?
we all pull together as a team
when the going gets tough.
we will eat sushi tonight and have fun
in a cool bar
we will talk about javascript frameworks, you know you want to, backbone, ember -
it's cool you know
it's good!

And we are WINNING MASSIVE accounts!
Already a huge amount of investment and growth in a short period of time!
therefore gone on to be tipped as one of the most exciting tech companies for 2014 and truly 'one to watch'?
All this and yet we believe in a healthy work-life balance.

Because it's important
Because we work smart
Because we are nice
So long as the work gets done
We believe in flexibility during busy times
though we can get cross you know
just a little vexed
and if you can't work fast enough, maybe if you're getting old and your brain is a bit slow, you will have to stay late I'm afraid
Till it's done
for £35k.
This is a fantastic opportunity to sling shot your career to where you want it to be.

Sling your hook!

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