Ô
toi que j'eusse aimée, ô toi qui le savais!
Charles Baudelaire, À une passante
– Milk for the pussens, he
said.
– Mrkgnao! the cat cried.
James Joyce, Ulysses
Young and
swift in love, my heart set
Upon her
like a paparazzo undeterred,
On the dusty gravel road a stone's
throw
From the
cheese factory, where youth
Acquires
early the salty taste of curd.
As a male red-winged blackbird,
perched on a reed, flashed its colours, this enraptured
Young lad at a distance, this
precocious swain chewing on a straw, felt he had captured
In the inmost recess of his being
the transcendence of your porcelain cousine Delphine:
As she stood roadside, holding a
hand-painted sign "macintosh apple by the bushel";
Whose subtle ways of the waist
revealed wild flowers wafting in her sensual apron;
Unmindful of the redneck hired hand,
yonder, pitching hay unto a horseless wagon,
Shirtless his chest, muscular his
arms, soaking wet with mid-afternoon summer sun.
…
They
don’t make curds here anymore
Anymore
than you will find luscious fruit
In the
abandoned orchard at Cow-Crossing, on the road to Avonmore,
Its ever
absent summer tenant everpresent on my mind: more and more.
…
Stigma, style and stamen, in line
sketches drawn from found van goghian florae afield,
Reap
Codicils,
annexed to her early femme Rêveries, writ in an enchiridion,
stored as forbidden fruit
Deep
In
her callow maiden's apron, far from the prying eyes.
By chance I happened upon it, a slim
octavo, left unawares, open on a three-legged stool
By the well. Curiouser and
curiouser. I was Adam’s progeny again, a betraying feline fool:
Mrkgnao! Ate o’the apple o’me eye. Just like that, fate worse than death:
pariah, wholesale!
Eyes that turn away do not look
back. Mistah Kat, he dead, just like that, donedeaddoornail!
…
I am but a casual visitor now,
By
mid-life, this midwife, reborn,
Who since
ceased blowing his horn,
A kind of
post-Compostela pauline pilgrim,
Who roams
about seeking, in the hope of finally
Finding
that locus pænitentiæ, wherein
He may
expiate a very personal primeval sin,
His
sin-by-the-well, the sin of callous Curiosity
I confess
I committed sinfully
In the Garden of Delphine .
If
absolved, I vow to leave behind me the wrongs
Brought
on upon discovering her secret fleurs du mal,
Lest I be
condemned again to a vortex of songs
Of lust,
spleen and jejune opium fables: omne animal
Succumbing
to some appétit nostalgique,
Predestinate,
pre-ordained, pathologique.
Vide a Virgilian spirit torn asunder in combat.
Thunder
no further. Gone to hell. Just like that.
…
Wild flowers cut and soldiers of
memories defunct, in close proximity slowly fade away.
Each in his or her own way, under
musty-ravaged funereal crosses and austere stelæ,
Appeals to Raphael The
Healer—rusting wrought-iron gatekeeper, less a severed wing,
No less a stalwart witness—at life’s
ultimate trial for betrayal, may he be amicus curiæ.
…
I am taken anew by the Poem À une
passante yes taken to the bone
By its final line’s Orphic rapture
yes as it rises above the monotone
Monastic rogations of my daily
evensong litany—o ruinous folly!—
Yes taken by it yes by it as it
resounds like a muffled mason's mallet
In my breast yes while faithful Shep
makes not a sound at my feet
For he is trained to bark only if
she appears—and softly at that.
…
Should your cousine revisit,
after all these years after all,
And come
down, at sundown, to Cow-Crossing, after all,
Tell her
the top of my vintage T-bird will be down;
She'll
see me sitting on the hood,
Like some
born-again Emmett Kelly clown
Making
faces sad and funny at the kine
Chewing
the cud—if they're in the mood.
…
Yes, assuredly as the
Impressionists’ sun begins its decline,
I’ll recite for her ears only yes
yes my ‘Poem to Delphine’;
And let its last line resonate with
the baudelairian alexandrine
Connate in my soul yes yes in my
soul imprinted à jamais:
"O
toi yes que j'eusse aimée yes yes ô toi yes qui le savais!"
…
Else I'll
while away the hour
Like a
defrocked friar minor
Imploring
Raphael bring her
Back to
Cow-Crossing someday
Before
the sun burns out the day
Before the Holsteins
and I return to our respective pastures here and afar
By way of the enduring dust and
ashes gravel road now embalmed in tar.
© G. Robert Jeaurond 2011 – 2014
Book Bin Contemplative
Criez
après l’enfer, de l’enfer il ne sort
Que
l’éternelle soif de l’impossible mort.
Agrippa
d’Aubigné, Les Tragiques
“ Lowly, longly, a wail went forth. Pure Yawn
lay low. [...] His dream monologue was over, of cause, but his drama
parapolylogic had yet to be, affact. Most distressfully (but, my dear, how
successfully!) to wail he did [...] [...] Hwoah! ” - James Joyce, Finnegans Wake
In
the center of the room, against a princely-pricey stack
leans
a ladder steadied with sliding hooks to a metal track.
Amidst
Perry Mason Mysteries ‘On Sale
This Week Only’,
scattered
about bric-à-brac-like on the maple-top counter,
squats
a grand old gold-lacquered Buddha of a cash register.
Of
ivory, ideal for hammering sforzandos on a piano's,
its
round keys stick up, rarely, true, the dollars and cents symbols,
exhibiting
a pure Bonnie and Clyde bold face composure,
a-top,
inside the horizontal glass-in-brass enclosure.
Snugged against the table, stands
obtruncated at the bulge this barrel,
a
bin half-filled with belles-lettres variatim devoted to Lewis Carroll,
with
surrealist poets monographs in facsimile editions, the odd American novel,
stapled
salad days chap-books, tossed pell-mell: wellaway, weary wanderers all;
Chamber
Music and Pomes Penyeach, among them too; all marked Not For Sale.
Pencilled-in
notations: interpretations, musings, secret thoughts, subtle and frail,
blurbs and undecipherable scrawls wallow
in gutter, outer margin, head and tail.
Subdued
symphonic sounds surround
capriccios
wafting in the background.
Here,
a has-been poet—need I say ’tis I; need I say more?—
who,
once upon a terribly good time, not very long before,
came
and went, in the guise of a stylish
publish-or-perish
bookish professor of English
(ere long Anon
sails undone
shipwrecked)
propitiates
his proemial sin (for the gist of this: one needs genuflect
and
reach, and reflect upon, the metaphysical stanza by John Donne
‘Wilt
thou forgive...’, t-a-c-t-f-u-l-l-y tacked above the rim close to the
floor,
the
very same that Eve premeditated, not very long before she did not abhor
committing,
‘... that sinne by which I have wonne
others
to sinne and, made my sinne their doore’.)
*
I am not resolved to be or not to be
in the company of some Dantesque errant soul
to
commiserate with—I am as I am, a densely desolate damned dunce of a fool!—
My soul lies distraught, lamb-like,
alone, in this condemned cell of a hell-hole,
a used books bin, in a country antiquarian
bookstore established by a bibliopole,
off the tourist trail, run by, of
all people, my widow, the ever youth-fool,
the still strikingly beauti-fool
‘Sad Rose of my days’; ever so regret-fool
off and on: Sad Rose no more, yet
sad rose evermore, for
she won’t let go either of the racy rumour
in dark room lore,
of a Lovelorn, outstretched as Child
in Forest in the Wynn Bullock photo,
in the foliage—she said was poison
ivy—that climbed up to my window
overlooking Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
Memorial Square (with no,
indeed, no
Sousa stars ’n stripes a-stirrin’—times
they were a-changin’—on the bandstand);
or of my tutoring a ‘dreadful lot of
bitches’, quoth Mrs Bloom; who looked for
answers blowin’ in the wind, who
wore wild flowers in their headless headband,
bushy-tailed red-eyed bunnies,
scurryin’ post-haste out of Alice 's
underground,
up the stairs to my master class in
Comparative Literature Exploratory Studies;
today
a reading of Charles Baudelaire’s Franciscæ Meæ Laudes:
o
how you speak to me, mon semblable, mon frère! Speak to me!;
tomorrow,
ever captivated, revisiting riveting Thomas Hardy’s
The
Voice, the poet and the ‘woman much missed,
calling to me’;
o
that she would call to me, call to me still that she is all to me!
*
In the summer the bin is removed to
the front porch, demmit,
filling in as doorstop, Welcome Open sign dangling fremmit.
Through the green screen door you
see him coming a mile away;
he walks the walk of the swagger, by
the smart mien of his sway.
And you stand embosoming T. S.
Eliot, Keats and Elizabeth Browning;
you bow before Blake; you burn for
Burns, as I did for the smile you bare,
a summer
sun ray, voluptuous as on the likes of the Vargas sweet thing in a swing,
illuminating
the cover of the book, my gift to you, of rhymes by Walter de la Mare,
a first, of first memories of first
love first, of sadness last of last of the lonely,
inscribed in Cupid’s ink ‘For You, belle
enfant, My Love, My One and Only’.
*
With that swaggering gait you know, you
know he’ll recite for you, by heart, Yeats’
To the Rose Upon the Rood of Time, and enchant you further with other poetic treats.
After,
when Open flips to Closed,
such
as light to night, unopposed,
Sad Rose of all my ways of all my nights
of all my days—whether during dense foreplay
or in your sleep, deep in the trance of a
dance of a dream, or on awakening, t’is moot: on
your lips, on your hips by your loins, on
the tips of your burgeoning breasts, on and on and on, the tip of his tongue
on—while you juggle with the juggernaut inside your head,
capriccioso
won’t
you replay: a whisper: a murmur: a humming hint at it:
so
he knows so
t’was I
you
saw coming a mile away.
I
hear you: I am dead, dead I am,
forever lying In Memoriam, I
am
still in your debt: you
keep me alive against ungodly odds.
Were it for the rippling locks that flow
from a ghost like a god’s,
or the swagger, the tracksuit, the arms
of the sweater swung on, buckling the waist,
nay,
nay, simply say, not in haste,
calmly,
just say no more than this:
“ T’was bliss.
True raw.
Bliss.
You saw me standing sublimely in
awe:
captured, enraptured, exhaustively,
by je ne sais quoi,
when I saw you coming a mile away
o o o so radiantly. ”
hwoah wohwohwoah mmmmolly mrkgnao o o o hwoah
o o o Molly
mrkgnao mmmmmolly o mmmmmrkgnao o Molly o Molly
aaaahhhhhhh
© G. Robert Jeaurond July 2011 –
March 2013 – January 2014
Fathom my
Heart the Narrow
Valley
Tenants
of the house,
Thoughts
of a dry brain in a dry season.
T.
S. Eliot, Gerontion
Turn not now for comfort here,
The lamps are quenched, the moors are gone,
Cold and lonely, dim and drear,
Void are now those hills of stone.
Charlotte
Brontë
Here I am at Haworth Parsonage, an
old man at vespers,
forehead pressed against cold
marble, marked at eye level:
This Pillar Near to the Place Where the Brontës’ Pew Stood.
Witness wetness windswept down from
limitrophe moors,
as it whiplashes sans cesse
the attendant churchyard,
whose stern nameless stones, still
to this day, in stillness
upon my vagrant soul, impress
incertitude, inquietude, restlessness.
It being dark, I pray for the eldest
Brontë’s prescient luminescence.
As afar off as Ptolemy’s Alexandria , afar off I fear is her recipience.
The Cholet
boy, preyed upon and kidnapped, prayed, we were told,
as I did, so to speak, standing
forlorn at a fork in the country road,
brewing turbulent appeals to Charlotte , serene among the Brontës.
In unison, heart and temples throb.
I am an unpardonable snob.
When I withstood the silence as I
rubbed her name, braillewise,
and laid it imprinted close to my
flesh, as if to secretly eulogize
Existence, once arrested in my
grained oasis moleskin note-book,
oh my! why, why did I not trouble
myself,
then, with her spectral presence
stealing by?
Was I deaf, too, too far removed
from her Work? Au contraire.
While I remain your incompetent
serf, having been blinded
by a flash of lightning turned
burning bush, I am reminded
of the presence of this grande
dame de lettres, fuelling our hope,
limelighting every step as we grope
along our cerebral tightrope,
more a hound’s leash, to heaven: her
prose and poem lie-in-state
in me in a single tome disbound.
Strapped over my left shoulder I carry
a sabretache purchased million moons
ago at Massena ,
New York ,
across Bridge to USA , then pedestrian, now effaced from memory.
In it I keep a map and train
schedules to London , Oxford and the City of York .
Inside my mackinaw, in a zippered
pocket, you’ll find a handsome guide-book,
however in disrepair its cover: a
precious Baedeker ,
Great Britain ,
6th edition, 1906,
I spotted in The Winking Owl,
a freebie hand-out cat., while on a book hunt hunch,
in Lamb’s Conduit Street , London ;
now perdu beside pencils tied tightly in a bunch.
Which makes me think I can deep-six
with the best of ‘em, respectably
speaking, as any bespectacled peripatetic pedicabman
would do with his chop-sticks
of bright bamboo or dark wandoo.
Query: what ought one do, if by
chance, out of the blue, enters Phileas Fogg, nose
somewhat out of joint, because this
Jules Verne fellow, this high-muck-a-muck
of literary circles, follows his
every step, every step of the way? Why? Who knows?
So, with the sun at our back, it is
decided we do lunch. Good. Let’s. With any luck,
sechuan dimsun, sweet and sour, easy
on the wonton, on the go from China
to Peru ,
like three in a tub, Fogg and I and
Passepartout, with a wanton wandering wanderoo
in tow, swift, singing tongue in
cheek tra la la la la, in the yahoo vernacular, as did Defoe,
or was it Crusoe, some time ago, on
a similar cruise, o, in my imaginary flying rickshaw?
Ah, Charlotte
among the Brontës … do you sometimes dream of Alexandria ?
M’lord, the incongruity of it all!
It has been raised to intolerable heights, I fear, the ante.
I
put it to Thee: would it be Your will, along mine, to persuade her, affettuoso
andante,
of
course, to visit our black earth, its milk, honey, cloudless sun, and the
sensuous spear
of
grass by the sluggish, rarely raging rivulet, our engaging, often renegade Raisin River ?
I
put it to Thee: would she not find perk and invention among us, the eminent
Brontë sister
beyond
her years? Thee to me in my thoughts: who among you would be able to assist
her?
Like hymnal prose poems dormant in
archival repositories, manuscripts
of the seminal state are oft
embedded in crevices in a crypt wall
by the dead come back to life, for
the following reason, none other at all:
their literæ scriptæ—their
power over us—regardless of innate fear, rouse
one’s inclination to enter their
infernal labyrinths, burning with curiosity
—at Borges’s behest, or Kubrick’s,
who else?—and reconnoître a quarry
where, in ageless anticipation,
spiritual oxygen is extracted
and passed on to us, lest we
suffocate in burial urns hermetic,
or drown in our own lachrymal vases,
wasted, i.e., abstracted,
catalogued, stored at the hand of a
stuffed-collar executor,
in the damnatory privy library of
the insufferable Collector
of the Unread. Suffice it be said. Once
upon a time, tralalalalalalalalas.
To be forgotten: o o oblivion’s
malediction. In perpetuity, alas, alas, alas.
So take a bow before the Dean, the
journeyman lecturer, indeed the phdeed
professor, as you embark on yet
another journey, dandy Dante. Godspeed!
*
A
man in hard hat and security boots
holds
upright a warning sign on
an
incline on
a
cobble-stone road about to be
repared
for you and me
to
hobble on.
Ah,
Charlotte among the Brontës,
‘tis
the call of my return to my far-off Alexandrie.
If
I fetch thee, won’t you accompany me?
*
I took on the rascal rogue road,
wicked walking-stick in hand.
I was l’enfant perdu et retrouvé,
on his way back to his homeland.
I blew at the sickly sun: it died,
like a match in the wind.
Came the rain, more like biting
hale. I spat at the rain.
Thunder and lightning abetting, it
soon
turned into a
monsoon-like-storm-tossed
bleak night, moonless as moonless
can be.
I spat at the rain. Spit. Spat spit
at the rain,
like skippable pebbles thrown back
at the sea,
over rougher swells than you’ll ever
see on the Raisin,
even when a train of rain reigns in
precipitately crafts and unmoored
rafts from her bed.
By chance by cemetery by church by
brick house: a naked verandah,
floor as spotless as a nunnery
floor. Took refuge there, by the door.
Head plunged in my arms folded upon
a raisèd knee, in symmetry
with my spirit resting against the Wailing Wall that is inside of me,
rampart built of dust and straw, by
hollow men, stuffed men, over the years
of sticks and stones to break my
bones. One’s James Dean years of lore.
Je me souviens, those days were cold as the heart of a Madam’s whore
was mean, cold as a marble slab in a
parsonage at the foot of a moor.
Penitent, invariably I return to the
Wall, as resolved as Cal
was, when he lost his way
in the Land of Nod —lo!
a fallen angel, Cal, losing it, prancing on the frantic tip
of Steinbeck’s pen: like Cal I pray I’m heard, above the fiendish fickle
fervent fray,
by his saint, The Less, no less,
that the tenant might turn on the light above the door.
Hush …Grumpy gruffy growl, muffled instant—Keeper, is that you,
boy?—
past adown a rustic flight of stairs
winding up to secretive rooms dimly lit;
petticoats do ruffle; then dead
silence; then stillness heard: soft … good boy!
Behind a curtain's nervous churchyard
cough, brittle and crackly
like chalk, mute exchanges swerve
from glance to frown, swiftly,
to tip of finger, discreetly, onto
rounded lips, swelling as faintly
as sibilant scratches touching down
on thirsty vellum with goose-quill dexterity.
Muses, thought I. Identity
unascertained. Muses, just the same.
Manifestly not at all at my beck and
call. No, not at all. Faux-pas: Faust’s fame!
I nameless I. I fameless I.
I worthless I. I the fool at her
feet I.
How, I shameless I, dare I presume
they existed at all,
the silent house, the silent
tenants, the mongrel’s silenced murmur of a growl?
Ah! Charlotte
among the Brontës … do you sometimes dream of Alexandria ,
and of strolling about strewn paths
where the grandiflora trillia
abound around our seasonally
abandoned maple sugar emporia?
I hear Canadian Pacific engine
number 306 afar, as it begins in earnest
its strenuous thunderous
undertaking, practically in Ernest’s backyard,
along the horizon line, marking the
plough-land awaiting plow and sow,
as Golden Bantam seeds await in a
nearby shed the twenty rough hands
of the sons of La Tulipe, Joseph
Jean-Baptiste Jérémie Joachim Denis,
who, from the hectic hectare, with
the aid of a neighbour’s mare for hire,
tore out the tree stumps, hauled the
roots to fire
and tilled the land, renitent, it
seemed, à l’infini,
until it became his, and his
progeny’s Alexandrie.
Envoi
on Entering the Epicenter
I counted the ripples on her bed
before the Book was read.
Dreams of a glittering pasture
in this pastoral enclosure
begot desert begot oasis begot town
begot city
that turned to ashes that shredded
its history
fed from fires fomented not far from
the once-noble Nile ’s
estuary.
In a second in a minute in an hour
in a month in a year in a century,
lifted the fist of retribution with
impunity,
took hold of the library—tore into
it—
lit, looted, let out a lecher’s
laughter
at the distant rubble at Alexander’s
Alexandria .
Then as sudden as black-out the
computer crashes;
the tower four-clocks chime stops
telling time;
pocket watches unwind, take on the
look of Dali watches;
follows a mad rush to torches and
matches where hoarded.
O’clock on the dictator’s watch:
time will tell tales
of totalitarian travesties and
teachings and treachery
in a second in a minute in a day in
a century
at a time, at the time unrecorded. A
mockery!
O’clock! O mimicry! O’clock!
Across a cindery century
time spreads its tell-tale ashes.
While
whiles
while
away
miles
away
an old man on a train reads Jane
Eyre with a passion and praise
gazing momentarily at the window
blurred from Glengarry haze
in the cross-fire of his thoughts
for Charlotte among the
Brontës.
Wistful wanderings of a wet brain in
a wet season. Tra la la la la.
© G. Robert Jeaurond July 2011 - January 2014
gj,
to his friends. Born 1938 at Glen Robertson, in Glengarry County , Ontario ,
Canada .
Oddly
enough, still living and kicking: re-visiting his earlier poems; working them
over,
like
Ali did the punching-bag, ducking, dodging, dancing around them; writing,
writing,
rewriting most of them, and
stuff, in a sweat, loving it. A bee, a butterfly, all over again.
Terrific! That's all I can say for now!
ReplyDeleteSam Peickovifz