Friday, July 1, 2016

A Page for Satyrs

Please send a spoof for this page. Larry.

WHAT A BUNCH OF HOOEY
  
May you topple the bobble
that is your bubble your
impossible babble.
You're the Tower of Blubber
the badass boogie man
of bubblegum.
Oh boo boo ba ba bladder
blast of puff dust.
Inflated ego of thin weather balloon
popped.
Particles too frail to decompose.
What's left of you but useless garbage
if you can find it.
What a rear collision comes to
when there's nothing to collide with.
Did you topple your bubble
and bust your buffoonery.
Drop your pantaloons and find
there's nothing there but hot air?
Nothing is as nothing was
and nothing is as shall be.
What a bunch of hooey
and tomfoolery.

larry goodell / placitas, nm / 28Jun2016


And now from the source of all health in America, lovely to present this on the 4th of July, 2016! Thank you Mr. Burbank.

THE REAMING: Bend Over Please, and Say, "OMMMMMMMMM.”
Let’s face it, health insurance is uplifting and ecstatic, almost a new religious epiphany, especially the so-called customer service experience. Just like dying from rat poison writhing in a forgotten cement corner, a moment of supreme clarity arrives, so an enlightening and refreshing customer service session with Blueballs National Health Insurance, “my carrier of choice,” will fill your anus with a strange and wonderous blue light that most probably comes from God.  You are one of the chosen.
“Hello, human. Please provide your name, your social security number, your zip code, your address, your plan number,  and your bill amount.”
“My name is Jimbu. My Social Security number is seven. My zip code is nine. My address is ½, Albuquerque, New Mexico. My plan number is twenty-three. My bill is one billion seven hundred million twenty three thousand nine hundred dollars and fifteen cents .”
The Customer Service Rep tells me she is Dog’s minion, her name is Meticula, and she says she will walk on her knees through broken glass to satisfy my health insurance needs.
“So, what’s your problem, Mr. Jimbu? Did you try Nexium?” she says,  “Did you try Nauseum? Did you try Trichenosis? I can talk to you in a calm and reassuring voice about your health plan,” she says, “ But you will have to consult your on-line pharmacy for further information about your opioids and your constipation, your diabetes medication, your steroids, your pot, and your smack. We don’t deal with that shit here, only good clean health stuff like you see on TV ads where you are supposed to ask your doctor,”  
“Why do I have such a bill the size of the national debt for my colonoscopy?” I plead.
“Jimbu, you wanted to be reamed, didn’t you?”

And at that moment, thanks to my carrier of choice, I attained the highest and the most pure and perfect enlightenment.
James Clarke Burbank

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